My Dear Sisters in Christ,
It has been a while since I have written some of you and so I am writing to catch you all up on the Ford Saga.
Tim healed well from his surgery. Praise the Lord.
Paul won the lawsuit that his ex-wife brought against him for more support money. He was already giving her much more than the law required. The judge told her that she was stupid for wasting the court’s time, her lawyer’s time and Paul’s time. He actually ruled that Paul should give her less than Paul wanted her to have. Paul asked if he could give her more than he ruled. The judge said, “Why would you want to do that? You would be stupid to do that.” Paul replied that Ryan is his child and he wanted to make sure that he was well taken care of. He asked the judge to rule that Lauri could not bring him back into court for more child support unless he won the lottery and he would pay $200 more a month than the judge had decided. So the judge gave Paul what he wanted. That was last spring.
Paul made another trip to Ohio in late July. He found a house that he would like to buy that is in Ryan’s school district. He has a realtor in Ohio and has put a bid in on it. Paul showed me pictures of the house. It is on 2 acres that borders a state park and he knows the contractor that built it as his own home. In fact when Paul used to live in Marion, (before he was paralyzed) he used to take Ryan to this park to hike and they watched the construction of the house. That is how Paul got to know the contractor. The contractor is building another house on the adjoining property for himself. If Paul does get the house, he will hire this same man to make it handicap accessible. One thing that will have to be done is the addition of an elevator. I really hope that Paul does get the house, but we will have to wait and see.
In the meantime Paul has been planning a trip around the US that is corporate sponsored. It began with an idea of traveling around the US and staying at Westin Hotels, and setting up a web page where other handicapped veterans could gain hope and ideas of how to have fun. When he went to Ohio for the lawsuit, he stayed at a Westin Hotel. He loves Westin Hotels. After the court, he was in the bar sharing his story with those around him, (so Paul!) and one of those happened to be a big wig in the Westin Hotel chain. He got on board with Paul’s idea and put him in touch with others to support him.
When Paul first became paralyzed he was following the web site of an adventurer that made a trip to the North Pole with his computer and web cam. Paul often e-mailed him and he e-mailed Paul back. This inspired Paul to overcome the mental stress of his new affliction. Paul hopes that his web site could do the same for others. As he has told his story and how that adventurer helped him, some of the corporations that supported the North Pole trip have come on board to support Paul. Paul has been so busy lately with his own life and I have been so busy with Karen that we rarely see each other, so I am not sure of the progress on this but I think he plans to leave sometime in October. Again, we shall see. In any case his mind is always occupied which is really good. His web site is http://seizeadventure.wordpress.com/.
Some of you may not know that the summer of 2007 Paul and Ryan traveled around the entire western part of the US. They saw most of the National Parks and lots of other stuff. Ryan went on an overnight horse back trip into Yellowstone and a helicopter ride from Las Vegas into the Grand Canyon for lunch. Of course Paul couldn’t go with him on these experiences. Paul was a little worried at Yellowstone because one had to know how to ride to go on the overnight trip. Most kids had to have a parent go with them. Ryan was 14 then. So the guide said Ryan could go if he proved he could ride. He tested Ryan. Ryan said, “I can ride, Grandma took me to lessons when I was 7.” His instructor would be glad to know that 7 years later he passed the test, heels down, thumbs up. He had a wonderful time.
My second son, Patrick lives in Florida, is a nurse, and is married to a nurse. He and I have been sharing a lot by e-mail of our view on the end times and are we entering into those times. He seems to be quite happy with his life but he does believe that we are entering into those times. He and his wife are thinking of moving to Tennessee. Praise the Lord.
Son number three is Nathan. He works for a company that makes a lot of telephone calls and letters to help form people’s opinions on whatever subject they are hired to form opinions about. Hard for me to explain. However, recently a programmer quit his job. Now Nathan had been a phone/letter supervisor, but he told them, “I can learn to do that job.” I taught myself programming when I was 14. Which is true. I was home-schooling him and he decided that he wanted to learn to program so he went to the library and got a book. The people in charge decided to give him a chance. He has been learning it and writing programs that improve on the data that they had before. The bosses are very impressed. He is hoping for another raise, but in the meantime he has gotten a lot of respect. Before, the bosses were sure that they had to hire a college graduate, but this young (25) home-schooled boy is writing better programs than the last college graduate. He told me that the software that they use is so old most of today’s college graduates wouldn’t be familiar with it anyway.
His band is not going so smoothly. He has repeatedly had to ask people less serious than himself to leave and audition new members. But the music keeps coming from the basement. He also plays with two other bands to “keep in touch with what everyone else is doing.” Recently a neighbor called the police on him for “loud noise” for the second time. Nathan made up fliers with a letter about his music education and the seriousness of his pursuit, to let people know that this is not just a hobby. He put his e-mail address and phone number on it and asked anyone who had a problem in the future to call him directly. He walked around and introduced himself to all of the neighbors. He said it is advertising, not just police prevention. After all, what one neighbor hates another may love. Last week he went out and bought insulation and covered all of the windows and doors of the basement with it. The basement is a walkout with French doors. We already know that the neighbor that complained is on that side of the house across two back yards from us. Hopefully we will be able to mute the music to their satisfaction. I am proud of Nathan for seeing it as an opportunity to introduce himself to the neighbors instead of being angry about it.
Son number four is Richard. He is the oldest of our adopted children and just 6 months younger than Nathan. He is 24. Richard is working two jobs for the same boss. He plans on taking over the bosses company when he retires. At least that is what Richard plans today. He is an entrepreneur at heart. No one can guess what he will think of next. My prayer for him is that he accepts Jesus Christ as his own personal Lord and Savior. For a very long time he was very angry with God and the world for all of the abuse that he suffered before and after the death of his mother. It was horrendous, but he has come a long way with God’s help and blessings. I am praying that he begins to see how much God has been there for him and let God’s love finish what is already begun.
Karen is the fifth child in the family, also adopted and is only 6 months younger than Richard. She is 23. I am going to skip her for a moment and go on to Sean but I will get back to Karen.
Sean is the sixth child, also adopted, and the youngest, 18. Many of you know that I have been asking for prayers for him for two years now. We have had a lot of trouble with him. During his senior year he refused to do his homework, skipped school, was disrespectful, stole, lied, and did other things that got him into trouble. He flunked the only two classes he needed to graduate, not because he couldn’t do the work, because he wouldn’t. In spite of my objections the school decided to give him a diploma! It is an “Individualized Education Diploma.” I told the counselor that he needed to fail and repeat the year. He needed to understand the consequences of his actions. She got him the diploma anyway. I wouldn’t participate in this charade. So the school paid for his cap and gown and the all night grad party, all against our wishes. (Mine and Tim’s) Tim and I did not go to the graduation. I told Sean that I was not proud of him. His IQ is almost double what Karen’s is. She graduated with an advanced diploma and he didn’t even earn a standard.
Many of you know that I kicked him out and for the last few months he has been homeless. The first week of August he called me and wanted to know if he could move into the shed. I told him that he could sleep in the shed, or in the house if someone was at home to let him in and supervise him. (He won’t quit stealing from Paul.) He said he wanted to join the Navy. He needed a new social security card. His old one was stolen. Caroline McGregory came over and drove us to the social security office. (My van was in the shop for a new alternator and voltage regulator.) Then Tim and I took Sean to the recruiting office. The recruiter arranged for him to take the entrance exam August 17th. Sean failed it and failed it big time! He said he was “tired.” My guess is that he either ate wheat (which he is allergic to) or smoked dope the night before. He can retest September 17th.
In the meantime Tim took off work to take him to his hearing about stealing from Target. The judge had given him 50 hours of community service the first time that he saw Sean. The second time, Sean had only done half of the hours. The judge was kind enough to give him another month to get them done. This was the third time, and guess what, Sean had done none of them! He had lied to the recruiter and to us! He said that he had done them all. Again Sean was blessed! The judge gave him one more month and told Tim he would not consider it abuse if he hit Sean. Tim and I drove him the 2 miles to the place where he was supposed to do his hours. The first day he got quite a few done. The second day he wasn’t there when I arrived to pick him up. Tim took him on Saturday and it was the same story. We about never got him to finish the hours, but they are done. PRAISE GOD! He goes back to court on September 18th. In the meantime we have been letting him sleep in our house when we are here to supervise him and in the shed when we are not. Last week Tim gave him access to the washer to do his laundry. Last night Tim carried down a cot to the shed and found a gigantic mess. Sean left the door open and his clothes all over the floor during the big rain. I have been in Chester all week and came in last night to find Sean’s room is also a huge mess. Sean is on very thin ice with the little bit of privilege that he has. He has not even tried to get a job. I don’t really think that the Navy will take him because of his allergies. The recruiter seemed to think that they would, but I have talked to another since, and he says he doesn’t think so.
He is 18, won’t mow the yard or help with any chores, won’t mind one rule that we make for him, lies, steals and does pot. Though he says he has been clean over a month I doubt it. I believe in the “No work, No eat,” rule so I am about to pull the plug on the food that Tim has been giving him. As you can imagine this is our biggest prayer concern. So I ask all of you to please keep praying for him. He obviously hasn’t hit bottom yet.
Now I will get back to Karen because she has been MY biggest physical concern lately. She has been doing quite well at her job. She has been paying her bills on time and she has been saving money for a car. She has over $5000 saved so far. Not bad for a waitress.
Many of you know that a couple of years ago Tim and I bought a trailer for her in the trailer park behind the restaurant where she works and that we were fixing it up. It was an ideal place. It was 2 miles from my house in Chester, Virginia (just south of Richmond.) The grocery store is across the road and the bank is just up the road. Target, Kohl’s, Lowe’s and Home Depot are all an easy walk. Karen has actually walked the 5 miles to the library and back (10 miles total) a number of times. Even though she is only 5’1” she is quite strong. Then we got the news that the trailer park is closing and that all trailers must be moved by October 31st. Tim and I have been looking at the other trailer parks in the area, but all of them tend to be either slum or “worse slum”. We didn’t feel that Karen would be safe in them. Labor Day weekend we found a park that we liked. It was quiet and well maintained.
The number one problem is that it is 20 miles from my house and Karen’s job. To live there she MUST get a driver’s license. She has never driven before.
The manager of the park came to see the trailer Tuesday September 2nd. She said if I painted the trim she and got new skirting she would accept the trailer into the park. I started painting the trim! But then came the dreaded credit check. The trailer is in my name. It is paid for. But though Karen has a job and money in her account she has no credit. On the other hand I have credit cards in my name and a paid for house in Chester, but I have no job. And to make matters worse (or better), Tim’s name is the only one on the house in Fairfax. We are 6 weeks late on our mortgage payments and have been for months. We may end up losing it. We are trying to keep treading water at least long enough to have the boys settled somewhere else. But his credit is shot and mine is going that way. I sent out prayer requests and held my breath. Finally Thursday the manager called me and they will allow Karen to move in. That was GREAT news. But this was better news. The trailer park has a move in incentive of $7,000 if we move before September 30th and $100 a month off the rent for 3 years. Karen still needs a new heat pump; past estimates were in the neighborhood of $5000. PRAISE THE LORD I just got a call from a man that will do it for $2400.
She also needs to have the roof redone. There is a thick liquid that is painted on the metal roof. It has insulation in it and is silver so it reflects heat. Her roof is naked! I have been up on the ladder painting and found it out. Tim and I will probably do that job ourselves.
Another problem is that when Karen first moved in she and I built raised flowerbeds around the trailer and planted it with expensive shrubs and flowers. To move the trailer we have to dismantle all of that and move all of the shrubs. We have been working on it, but the going is slow. Karen has been working double shifts to get money for the car and I have had diarrhea for three weeks. I went to the doctor today. More on that later. Anyway it has either been above 90 degrees or tropical storm rains. Last Thursday her washing machine gave up the ghost. So she has been washing her uniforms out by hand or I have taken her laundry to my house. The machine came with the trailer so I knew it would go soon. But in the process of moving that out, we found that the air conditioning was leaking water on the floor and that the floor was soft. Tim replaced part of the floor. Then Saturday he found a new soft spot near the back door. Yipes.
But the manager of the park, Becky, gave me the name of a man that she trusted to do repairs, including on her own trailer. I called him and he went out to look at the windows, which need replacing too. I told him of my problem and he found me a man who is the one who will do the heat pump for $2400. He also recommended a man to move the trailer and told me whom not to get. He told me to stop painting the trim because the new windows have trim on them that is white. Yipes I have been painting everything black! He said he could match the old siding with new siding and make it look a lot better for less than $1000 and that the windows will be under $2000. The new skirting will cost $600 in materials. If you haven’t been counting that is up to $6000. Now if I were to sell the trailer it probably wouldn’t sell for more than $10,000. I bought it for $7000, I already have about $2000 more in it in repairs so far and now $6000 more. This will bring the amount paid to about $15,000 but still $7000 of that I won’t have paid for. And the rent reduction will mean Karen will actually pay less at Pine Ridge than she is paying now. If we can schedule the move, remove the flowerbeds, and Karen learns to drive we will be in like gold! I can hardly believe how wonderful a blessing this is.
I told you that this park is 20 miles from my house and Karen’s job. But it only 4 miles from the back gate of Fort Lee and 10 miles from the mall in Colonial Heights. So perhaps Karen will get a better job. When Sean started talking about going into the Navy, I told Karen about it and she started thinking that this would be a good thing for her. So she and I went to see recruiter in Richmond. This fellow was much more straightforward than the one Tim and I saw with Sean. Karen took the pretest and flunked the math but about maxed the English. We went to the library and got study guides for the ASVAB. We spent a day on that. She is reading the study guides and I plan to tutor in the math. Even if she decides to not go in the Navy, she can use the training for SATs or to get a better job. I was really surprised how much she knew of the auto mechanics, general science, physics, and biology parts of the test. The only parts she didn’t know much about were the math and the electronics.
If she passes the math they would take her if she still wants to go. If she goes in I would have to sell the trailer because one is not allowed to rent it out. On the other hand if she gets a car and a better job at Fort Lee, she may be happy where she is. She really wants to travel and see more of the world though and the Navy may be the place for her. So in all of this we would appreciate your prayers. Karen is a believer and she knows that God is blessing her.
She took her first driving lesson today. She called me afterwards to tell me about it. She was so happy. “She said I did really good,” she kept repeating. “I didn’t know it was so easy to drive a car!” Did I tell her that there is more to driving than just a spin around the trailer park? Nope, not me. I’m not shooting that optimism down. I didn’t learn until I was 26 and I was scared to death. And then one week later I was driving a van in Germany. I drove all over Europe and the US. I even drove in New York City at 5:00PM! If Karen’s teacher is as good as mine then who knows how good she will do. I believe in optimism and the will of God. If it is God’s will for her to learn now, then he will give her the ability to do it. He did me. I will never forget that I was paralyzed with fear every time I got in the driver’s seat until God gave me the right teacher.
So whether Karen goes into the Navy and we sell the trailer in the spring or she decides to keep doing what she is doing, God is blessing her and she knows it. And that is blessing me!
Now about me. As I said I have had diarrhea for 3 weeks. I got it, thought I was over it, 2 days later it came back. And that has been the pattern. No one else in the family has it. I think that I picked up a bacteria or parasite from the dirt when I was weeding the back yard 3 weeks ago. So today I went to the doctor and now I get to take them back some samples. Oh, fun! While I was at the doctor I got the name of a pulmonary specialist. (That’s lungs.) The heart doctor said my breathing problems have nothing to do with my heart, but there is something wrong with my lungs. Joy. Joy. Ok, here is what I think. I am too fat! I think the fat belly is putting pressure on my diaphragm. I am losing weight slowly. I was up to 199 put I am down to 184. The funny thing is the diarrhea has not made me lose any more weight. Probably because I don’t feel like doing anything but lie on the bed and moan. Moaning doesn’t burn too many calories. My grass in Chester is about a foot high. Now mowing, that burns calories. So pray and speak against this thing that thinks it can live in my body what ever it is. I have work to do and weight to lose. I will go see the pulmonary specialist just to be sure, but I have never smoked and Tim hasn’t either the 25 years that we have been married. So I think it is a good chance that it is just the weight.
I haven’t been to church in a month! But don’t think I am not praying! Because I always start before I get out of bed! I am reading your e-mails and I am praying for the church and next week as I am resting I am going to listen to all of the sermons that I have missed. They are posted on the Truro site you know. God is pretty good about keeping me informed about world events that I should pray for too. So I just keep talking as I am working. (You didn’t really think that I shut up did you?) Today the nurse at the doctor’s office was all stressed out and it was only 10:30 AM so I stretched out my hand over her desk and spoke God’s peace to the situation in the name of Jesus. The new bookkeeper looked at me like I was crazy, but Harriet said, “Thank-you thank-you, I needed that!” I knew Harriet was a Christian. One day when my blood pressure was especially high and I was really stressed out, I asked her to hug me. She did and then took my blood pressure; it went down by over 10 points. I could feel her prayers as she hugged me. I knew she was praying. The bookkeeper may be a Christian too, but she just isn’t used to people practicing what they believe. If I keep practicing maybe I will get good at it.
I will go back to Chester Wednesday. I am to join Tim at a luncheon tomorrow with “National Military Family Association.” They are a group that promotes the care of military families.
Besides my health, Sean’s and Richard’s spiritual guidance, Karen’s circumstances, Paul’s trip and house, Nathan’s spiritual guidance and band, you can pray for Tim’s job and our finances. Tim is getting stressed at the job and our finances need a miracle. But no matter what happens I will praise the Lord. He is my Lord in good times and bad. He is the same Lord when I am in pain and when I am healed. My circumstances do not dictate how good God is. He dictates my circumstances. Remember every bad day is a day that God can show just how beyond the circumstances He is. His strength is more apparent in my weakness. Isn’t he wonderful?!!!.
For His Sake,
Your sister in Christ,
Rebecca Ford.
