I met Richard Christian playing bridge in college. We soon learned that we had a great many other interests in common: math, physics, psychology, and writing. We had many long conversations about many topics and he soon became my best friend. We dated for a little while and then broke up when I moved to Columbus, but we remained close friends. After both of us dated others, we returned to dating each other. When he proposed, I was sure that I had the perfect mate. I was wrong.
I did not yet know how to seek the will of God, nor was I in a church with elders that might have directed my paths, so I was going on “my best judgment.” Like the Israelites, I went down into Egypt. I did not expect to be in bondage there. God blessed Israel in Egypt until He delivered her, and He also blessed me in spite of the circumstance of our marriage. Immediately after we were married Richard was drafted into the Army and went to boot camp at Fort Knox. We were blessed that he was not assigned with those going to Viet Nam but to Pershing Missiles.
His first assignment after boot camp was Fort Sill, Oklahoma for more training. I had never learned to drive a car, so when I could finally join him, Paul and I traveled from Ohio to Oklahoma on the Greyhound Bus What little we owned fit in a couple of big boxes. Times were tough in Oklahoma. Richard was only a private and I couldn’t get a job. Once we ran out of money and Richard and I did not eat for a week, but we made sure that Paul had food. At first we didn’t have a car. Everywhere that we went we rode the bus or walked. After a few months my father gave us an old car and gave Richard the money to fix it. Richard was a great mechanic and soon had it running very well. We started attending church together.
Richard gained rank, we moved out of the roach-filled apartment, into a large rented house. We decided to have another child. Patrick was born March 1972. Richard said that he didn’t want to have more children, but that if I would get my tubes tied, we would adopt a little girl when Patrick was three. I did as he wanted and was sterilized at the age of 21. These were happy days for me, until Richard began drinking. As he gained rank, he had more spending money, and Richard began to drink more and more. He would drink until he passed out. Once he had one drink, he became a different person. We began to argue and once again my life was filled with a mixture of love and fear.
In January 1973, Richard got orders for Heilbronn, Germany. It is a little town about 11 miles south of Augsburg in Bavaria. We lived in a nice high-rise apartment building with other American military families and German families. Richard’s job working with the Pershing Missile required him to spend a lot of time on the missile site. He slept and ate there, sometimes for weeks at a time.
I made friends with some of the wives of the other soldiers. Debby Kalsbeck, a very shy and quiet young woman, didn’t live in our building but would often come over to visit me. I loved to talk and she listened well. Sometimes we studied the Bible together. She already knew a lot of scripture, and often had strong opinions. She was my best friend.
One night Richard brought home some books that he had borrowed from the “site” library. One was by Edgar Cayce. The title was Edgar Cayce On The Holy Spirit. Richard knew I had been reading the books by Hal Lindsey and other Christian authors and thought that this might be related. As I read through the book I researched carefully every scripture reference. I began to see a line of truth and a line of poison. At the end of the book, I knelt down beside my bed and prayed.
I knew that I had demons and that I was carefully keeping them under control. I had tried praying against them to no avail. Cayce’s book said that the way to get the Holy Spirit was to get up in the quiet of the night, empty your mind, and let the Holy Spirit in. I knew that this was a sure way for me to have more demons! The scriptures that he had quoted about the Holy Spirit being for today seemed valid, but I knew this was not the way for me to receive more of God.
I knelt beside my bed and prayed. “Lord, if this gift of the Holy Spirit is for today, I want it. I want all of you there is to have. But I know that this is not the way to get it. I know that if I empty my mind, Satan will try and fill it. You are bigger than me, God; I give you permission to come into me right over top of my full mind. If it is really you, what I need is for you to give me assurance, a conformation that these scriptures really do apply to today’s time. If it is for today’s Christians, then I need you to show me the right way to receive it.” As I got up, I looked at the clock and noticed the time. It was 7:30 p.m. I hardly ever pay attention to a clock, so it was unusual for me to notice it. I threw the book in the trash.
The next day Debby Kalsbeck came over to my apartment. Over a cup of tea, she asked me if I had ever heard of Charismatics. “No,” I answered, “What is that?”
“Have you ever heard of Pentecostals?” she asked.
“Aren’t those Holy Rollers? The people that roll in the aisles at church?”
She tried again, “How about the Holy Spirit?”
Now she was on the right track! “Do you mean like in Acts?” I asked. “I have just been reading about that.”
“Yes,” she went on, “A friend of mine named Claris came to dinner last night. When we were washing the dishes, just out of the clear blue sky, she said to me, ‘You know I am a Charismatic.’ Well, she had to explain to me about the Holy Spirit and how it is for today’s Christians.”
“What time was this, Debby,” I asked.
“Funny you should ask,” she said, “ I looked at the clock and said to Claris, ‘It’s 7:30.’”
“Oh, Debby, let me tell you what I was doing last night at 7:30.”I told her how I had been asking God for confirmation that the Holy Spirit was for today and not just for the people in Acts. She told me that Steve (her husband) and she were going to the Assembly of God service at the chapel in Augsburg that night. That was where Claris went to church. I insisted that she should come to my house the next morning and let me know what happened. She promised that she would.
The next morning when she knocked; I opened the door, took one look at her, and knew. I could literally see the Holy Spirit on her. She glowed! A white light was all around her. I had never seen an aura before, nor have I seen one since. “You got it!” I screamed. “You got it.”
“Yes,” she said, “And Steve did too.”
My “eyesight” returned to normal, but the feeling that I was in the presence of someone “Holy” didn’t.
I couldn’t stand to let her out of my sight. Since she was on her way to a Bible study, I bundled up Patrick and went with her. A group of Spirit-filled women met in Augsburg. The teacher was the mother of the one hosting the Bible study. The teacher had traveled through the Holy Lands and was a very learned woman. I could have set at her feet all day. The women were excited about Debby having just received the Holy Spirit and my desire to learn more. They loaned me a stack of books on receiving and maturing in the Holy Spirit. After the Bible study, Debby took me to the library and I also got a stack of books against the idea that the Holy Spiirit is for today. I read them all in a few days. It didn’t take me long to realize that the logic was on the side of the Holy Spirit is meant for today.
One book that I read said that if you wanted a particular gift, it might be that God had put that desire in you to start with. The author suggested that you should pray for the gift that you desired. He went on to describe the gifts. I read that book and all of the scripture references very carefully. I read a few others books that described the gifts.
Then I prayed. “I want them all, God. I don’t see in here (waving the Bible) where you say someone can’t have them all. It looks to me like Paul and Peter and some of those guys had them all. Of course I want to speak in tongues. Everybody does that. That is the least of the gifts. That is the only one that will build up me. Healing, deliverance, and prophecy, all of these gifts are great. I want them all. I want to be able to do what ever needs to be done. But God that is not all. There are some gifts that I want that are not listed here. I want David’s heart. You said that David had a heart that pleased you. I want David’s heart too. It pleased you that Solomon asked for wisdom. You told Solomon that no man would ever be as wise as him. I want his wisdom. I am not a man, so you would still be keeping your promise. I want Solomon’s wisdom. I want to do what any prophet in the Old Testament did and I want to do all that the apostles did. I want to heal the sick, raise the dead, walk on water, everything. I want all of you that there is to have.” God may have laughed at my enthusiasm but he heard my prayer.
Since I still didn’t drive, I arranged for Debby and Steve to take me to the next Tuesday night Assembly of God service. At the end they had an altar call for those who wanted to be “saved.” I was already saved so I did not go up. I expected them to ask who wanted the Holy Spirit but they didn’t. When they started turning out the lights, I went up front and knelt at the rail. I started praying, “God, I am not leaving here without your gift of the Holy Spirit.”
In a couple of minutes a woman stood in front of me. “Are you the one that wants the Holy Spirit?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Why didn’t you say so earlier? I was already in my car when the Holy Spirit told me to come back and lay hands on the woman who wants the Holy Spirit.”
She laid hands on me and began to pray.
“Now pray,” she said. I started to pray in English. “No, in tongues,” she said.
“I don’t know how,” I sort of whined, “I have never heard anyone do it.” “Just speak the sounds that come to your mind, and trust God to give you the right words,” she said.
Then she prayed a beautiful prayer in tongues. I did as she directed, haltingly at first and then suddenly a mighty rush came over me. It welled up. I prayed in tongues fast, loud and excitedly. I know now that it doesn’t happen to everyone this way. It was as if I had been waiting all of my life, since I was three, for this day.
I had two visions. The first was of a long wheat field going up a hill. It was golden ripe. On the farm we had raised wheat; I knew even a heavy breeze could knock the grain off the stalk. The harvest would be lost if not harvested quickly. Just at the horizon, coming quickly was a tremendous storm. It was black, swirling and ugly. Only a small portion of the wheat had been harvested. Though there were many scythes lying around on the ground, there were only three men doing any work. My whole substance, my intellect, my soul, and my heart, screamed, “Send me, I’ll go.” I knew it was a man’s labor and that scythes are men’s tools. I had used one on the farm. I knew the pain that using a scythe causes, but still I screamed internally, “Send me, I’ll go.” The pain of the thought of the lost harvest was intense.
As far as anyone watching me knew, I was just praying in tongues. At this point my physical body was praying in tongues and weeping bitterly. The woman who had laid hands on me said, “Look, how sweet, she is praying for her sins.” The tongues suddenly stopped and I looked up. God spoke through me, “No for the sins of the world.” Then I immediately went back to speaking in tongues.
I had a second vision. This was like looking down on a great playpen or jail cell. There were thousands of people in it. They looked like concentration camp victims. They were starving, dirty covered with their own dung. Their hair was matted. They were desperately climbing over each other trying to get out of this jail. It was so ugly, so sick, and so sad. My heart broke. I mean really broke. It hurt. God said to me, “These are my sheep, feed my sheep.” I kept praying in tongues and crying.
It was the first time that I had ever had visions. It was the first time that I heard God speak in my head. And it was the first time that God spoke through me. It was the new beginning of my life.
Steve and Debby half carried me out to the car. I tried to stifle the tongues the best I could. In the car, on the way home, I began to prophesy. I don’t remember what all I said, but I know that part of it was about the son that Debby would have many years later. I could stop. I just didn’t want it to stop. Everything within me knew that this was what I needed. During the next two weeks I prayed every waking moment, “stifling” only to do my regular mommy duties. Fortunately Richard was at the missile site. Once Paul was off to school, I had only baby Patrick to think about.
These 2 visions defined the ministry that I would later have and were my “call.” The first represented the harvest of the unsaved. I am not called to plow, plant, cultivate, or fertilize. I am called to the harvest. All of the others are important ministries. Mine could not exist without theirs. But like the traveling evangelists of old, my ministry to the lost is to gather in as many as I can as fast as I can.
The second vision represents the church. The sickly imprisoned people, He called them His “sheep.” Sheep represent the “saved.” “Saved,” and yet still in bondage, still starving, and still hurting one another to try to escape the prison of their past life and habits. When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, he commanded the disciples to set him free from the grave clothes that bound him. When people are saved, they need to be set free. They need to be fed, spiritual food, milk for babes, and meat for men. The watered down teachings that offend no one, feed no one. We all need to learn to walk in faith.
In Revelation 3:14-22 you will find a description of the church of Laodicea, which corresponds with the current church in America. Monetarily we are rich, but verse 17b says, “But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked.” Verse 19 says, “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.” I am called to be a prophet to those people. That being made aware of their wretchedness they might be set free and be healed.
That first two weeks after I received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, as I prayed day and night, it was as if a great dam had been released and the Holy Spirit was cleansing me. I compare it to a dammed stream that is filled with tires, old cans and bottles, and lots of muck. It the water just barely trickles through the stream stays full of muck. But if a flood comes and breaks the dam, the garbage and muck washes away. Once the water settles and sun comes out the light is reflected by the stream.
As all of this was happening I was in great turmoil. The demons that had plagued me most of my life were now quiet as I prayed, but they made their presence known in other ways. I felt as though there was a war in my body. I could feel their presence. It was as if I were in great pain and great joy at the same time. I prayed against the spirits but to no avail. I knew that I needed deliverance. I needed help.
When Debby and I went to the Bible Study, I asked the group to pray for me. One of the women was known to have a ministry of deliverance. I especially asked her to pray for me. I think that the answer she gave was strange, but maybe it was the leading of the Lord. She told me to come to her next week and she would pray. I was devastated.
After Bible Study, Debby and I went to the chapel to pray together alone. I told her, “Debby, I can’t stand this any longer I need someone to pray for me.”
She said, “I don’t know anything about deliverance, except what I have read in the Bible, but I am willing to pray for you.”
Remember, I told you Debby was quiet and shy. We prayed together for a few moments for God’s guidance. Then Debby said, “I remember that once Jesus asked a demon what its name was. I am going to ask it its name.”
“OK” I said.
“You demon in Rebecca, in the name of Jesus I command you to tell me your name.”
“HATE!” screamed the demon in a man’s deep voice.
It came out of my mouth and scared both Debby and me. She jumped two steps back. But praise the Lord, she took two steps forward and she said, “Hate, in the name of Jesus, I command you to come out of Rebecca.”
I shook and I gagged and it was gone. A great weight had lifted off of me.
Suddenly I knew the name of another, Fear. I named it and she came against it. Again I gagged and shook and it was gone. There was no more screaming, but eight more spirits were revealed to me. Each time Debby came against it and each time it came out. When we were finished I felt as though I had wings. I was light. The closest I can explain the feeling, is remember the big old roller skates and how it felt when you took them off? I felt that way all over. I was happy really happy.
During the next two weeks I read everything that I could find on deliverance, and every time Debby stopped by she would pray with me again. We would come against anything, we could think of that might still be lingering. Any sin that I could remember doing, I confessed and asked God’s forgiveness for. I forgave anyone that I could remember hurting me. We tried to leave no chink in my armor against Satan. I was an entirely new person. I felt so free. And I wanted to set others free.
About a week after all of this my neighbor Geri from across the hallway came to talk to me about healing. I had been sharing with her all of the events that were taking place in my life. She believed in God. She had arthritis very badly. Her hands were misshapen by it. She wanted to know if I would pray for her healing. I told her that I had never prayed for anyone for healing and wasn’t sure if I had enough faith yet, but I had read that arthritis can sometimes be caused by a demon. We could try coming against a demon, I surely had faith for that! Geri told me that her family had a long history of witchcraft, so first we prayed against any effects her family history might have had on her. We prayed that she would be under the blood of Christ and not under her family’s genetics or sin. And then I came against the demon of arthritis. She was instantly healed. We were jumping up and down and screaming with joy and hugging each other. She was healed. She was free. Oh, how wonderful, God is. He not only set me free, He set my friend free. God is soooo good! I am not going into a teaching on healing here, but I do want to say that God will use the faith that you have, to seed the faith you do not yet have.
When Richard found out what was going on, he forbade me to go to church again. He didn’t stop Debby from coming over, but she was careful to only come when he was not there. One night he got drunk and fell asleep. He awoke in a drunken stupor from some kind of dream and started choking me. He was a heavy man and he was sitting on my chest, choking me. God gave me the strength to pick him up off of me and throw him across the room. I ran into another room and locked the door. In the morning I told him that I was going to divorce him. He laughed at me. He told me that I was too insecure to leave him. I realized that he was right, but I was determined to stop being insecure.
The next morning I got a baby sitter and took the bus to Augsburg, where I secured a job as a waitress at the NCO Club. I didn’t pray and ask God what to do. Nor did I turn to my new Christian sisters for advice. My first response was to do things in my own strength. This mistake would be one that I would repeat many times. This bad habit is snare that Satan uses even on the most mature Christians. I thought that by working I would earn the money to go back to the states. If I had gone back then, I would have missed what God was doing in my life in this place. Like Joseph I was in Egypt for a reason. But unlike Joseph, I did not refrain from sin. While working there did solve some problems, it opened the door for more. It wasn’t long before a nice young man was “in love” with me and I was attracted to him. Sexual sin was knocking at the door.
Then one night when Richard was supposed to pick me up from work, he didn’t. I went home with the “nice young man.” The next day Richard begged me to stay with him and promised to try to change. Do you see how devious sin is? When I was faithful my marriage was abusive, but now that I had sinned things would get better. This is the kind of lies that Satan tells. Did I know it was sin? Yes, of course I did. So why after just having such wonderful experiences with God didn’t I resist? I think I still believed that sin would solve my problems. I still longed to be loved by a man. I wanted a man to solve my problems. I had not learned to hate the sin, but still turned to it when my heart hurt. I had not learned to trust God either. I was very much like the Israelites after they came through the Red Sea. They had had a wonderful experience with God, but they still trusted their own instincts rather than His abilities. In other words, they were out of Egypt, but Egypt was not out of them. This process of maturing a believer is repeated throughout the Bible. Abraham left Ur, but it took a long time for God to get the ways of Ur out of Abraham.
Debby caught on immediately to what I had done. Everyone needs a friend like Debby, quiet, but no longer shy. In fact she had become quiet bold, especially about correcting me. We prayed together and I quit the job, but I realized I still had a long way to go before sexual sin would lose its grip on me. I gave Richard the time to change, and for a short time he did try, I think.
He continued to forbid me to go to church. I could go to the Protestant Women of the Chapel meetings or most anywhere else I wanted, just not to church services. For the next two years, I read and studied the Bible all day long. I fell asleep with it. I awoke with it. I carried it with me and read it on the streetcar or in restaurants. I prayed both in the Spirit (in tongues) and with my mind. I often spent four or five hours in prayer. I prayed while I cleaned house. Often if I did not understand the scriptures, I would ask God to explain it to me. And He did. I learned to know His voice as well as I knew my mother’s. Sometimes I made notes of the things He said to me. Some things I hid in my heart. I didn’t know how much I was maturing. I still felt lonely, but God was meeting me, healing me, and teaching me. I hadn’t yet learned to walk in faith, but like that five-year-old, so long ago, I was beginning to understand that He was in the boat with me.
